File photo of an unhappy couple
A study by Dr. Charles Prempeh, a researcher at the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology (KNUST), suggests that the phrase “I love you” could contribute to domestic violence.
The research paper, titled “I” Love “You”, Issues of Love and Domestic Abuse in Accra, Ghana, explores how this commonly used expression may play a role in intimate partner violence.
In the paper, published in the 2025 edition of the Journal of Science and Technology, Dr. Prempeh argues, “The phrase ‘I love you,’ for all its tenderness, centers the self rather than the other, framing love as something one conditionally gives rather than a mutual necessity.”
According to him, the focus should shift from “I love you” to “I need you.”
He suggests that viewing a partner as existentially necessary expressing, “I need you” instead of “I love you”, could encourage more considerate treatment.
As one respondent in his study noted, “When you realize you need someone, you handle them with more caution. You don’t want to break what you rely on.”
Dr. Prempeh further explained that in Ghana, love is often perceived as an emotion, a transaction, or a form of possession.
“This conventional understanding may be perpetuating the very abuse it aims to prevent,” he argued.
He has therefore advocated for a shift from “I love you” to “I need you,” emphasising that acknowledging one’s fundamental incompleteness could be pivotal in reducing domestic abuse.
VPO/MA
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