File photo of a worried woman
Feeling Emotionally Disconnected in a Peaceful Marriage
Dear GhanaWeb,
I’ve been married for six years to the most incredible man I’ve ever met. Since we started dating up until now, there has never been a single instance of cheating or even questionable behaviour with another woman. My husband is well-off, handsome, loving, and caring, qualities I believe any woman would admire. We have two children and live in our own home. A few months ago, he invited his younger brother to stay with us while he looked for a job. Since then, I’ve noticed his brother constantly bringing different women home, even though he claims to love his girlfriend. She often calls me crying, saying he won’t stop cheating, but she doesn’t want to leave because she loves him.
It’s like watching a romantic drama unfold, and part of me finds it entertaining. This situation has made me reflect on my own marriage. I dated my husband for two years before we got married, and not once did we argue about cheating or mistrust. Our relationship has been peaceful, almost too peaceful. I thought marriage might add some excitement, but nothing changed. There’s still no drama, no suspicion, nothing.
Sometimes, I catch myself feeling like I’m married to a man no other woman wants. If someone else desired him, even if it was just emotional temptation, I feel like I would at least feel proud or even a bit jealous. That kind of jealousy, I believe, can ignite passion. But he’s never given me a reason to feel insecure. No password on his phone, no shady behavior, he is completely transparent, and since we got married, it’s always been my photo as his profile picture.
I know it sounds strange, but I’ve started feeling emotionally disconnected. I’ve even had thoughts of stepping out just to experience what it’s like to be with someone who is desired by others. It’s not that my husband isn’t attractive, he is. I just don’t understand why no one else seems to pursue him, especially in a world where infidelity is so common.
I am deeply confused and disturbed by my own thoughts. Should I go out with someone else just to trigger some jealousy in him? I know he’d be heartbroken if I ever cheated, and truthfully, he is good in bed and checks all the boxes as a partner. I don’t even have a “real” reason to consider cheating. So why am I feeling this way?
Please, I need advice.
FG/EB
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