Dear Pulse,
I’m Kwame (35), married to Efua (33) for seven years. We’ve got two beautiful children and what used to be a deep, affectionate bond. But for the past year, our intimacy has dropped to almost nothing—sometimes we go two, three months without sex. When I bring it up, she says she’s tired, stressed, maybe even “not in the mood.” I started wondering if she’s still attracted to me.
It got to a point where I began distancing myself. I started sleeping in the spare room, spending evenings at the late-night kenkey spot with my boys, even thinking, “Maybe I should just walk away.”
My friends said I should get a sidechick but I know my wife would be broken if she finds out but I am also dying within. I need sex. What should I do?
– Kwame
Hello Kwame,
Thank you for sharing your predicament with us.
Your feelings are valid—feeling loved but no longer desired can cut deep, especially when months go by without intimacy.
But low libido often isn’t about us or you turning away—it’s about stress, fatigue from juggling work and kids, hormonal shifts, even things like sleep or thyroid issues, as Pulse Ghana has highlighted.
Before you consider walking away fully, try opening up gently: let her explain without blaming, hold hands in the evenings, support her with shared chores, and encourage a check‑in at the clinic. It may not restore your old spark, but with patience and care, you may find a different kind of closeness, one worth staying for.
-Pulse